The Perfectionism Paradox
The Perfectionism Paradox
Why You Show Up for Everyone Else—but Struggle to Start What Matters Most to You
🎭 The Dilemma: Excuses vs. Rules
You’re reliable and hardworking. You always show up for others. You push through, even when you're sick, tired, or burned out. You consistently show up for external obligations, but when it comes to your own meaningful goals— those things often get delayed or abandoned. Not because you don’t care. Not because you’re lazy. But because the conditions aren’t perfect. And deep down, part of you might be waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay to begin.
🎢 The Perfectionist’s Internal Loop:
🧠 “If I’m going to do it, I need to do it right.”
🧠 “I need more time, more energy, more clarity first.”
🧠 “I’ll start when I have a plan / when things settle down / when I feel ready.”
💡 And so, a rule is created: Only do the things that matter when the conditions are ideal.
Meanwhile…
You respond to emails with a migraine.
You meet work deadlines on 4 hours of sleep.
You help a friend move even though your back hurts.
Because there’s a different rule for obligations: You don’t need to feel ready. You just get it done.
🧩 The Hidden Paradox
Perfectionists often unconsciously hold two conflicting beliefs:
Personal Values & Dreams
Must be done perfectly or not at all
Only worth starting if I can do it “right”
Needs time, energy, clarity, motivation
External Demands & Expectations
Must be done, no matter what
Completed even when you're depleted
Gets done even when you’re tired, anxious, or overwhelmed
🔁 A Hidden Pattern: Waiting & Excusing
You don’t wait for ideal conditions to show up for others. But you often wait for them to show up for you.
And because perfection rarely happens, the personal things wait. And wait. And wait….
Perfectionism can trick you into thinking:
· “I’ll start when someone gives me the plan.” “I’ll rest when someone says I’ve earned it.”
But here’s the truth: 🌟 This has to come from you.
· Other people’s suggestions—even the most loving or helpful ones—will always leave room for another excuse.
· The part of you that’s waiting for a perfect plan, perfect timing, or perfect energy will keep postponing your life. No one else can choose your priorities for you. The shift has to be internal.
Anchor
💬 Anchor Thoughts:
I don’t need more advice. I need to choose myself.
If I wait for perfection, I will miss my life. If not now, when?
Small imperfect steps are still sacred steps forward.
Start small. Start now. Start messy. But start for you.
